Ostereier

Changes in the law are impacting liability in all areas of our daily life. Here is the first draft of a warning that perhaps could be used on Easter eggs in the future:

DISCLAIMER: Notwithstanding anything you may believe or want to believe or you think that others (hereinafter referred to as the “Third Party”) should believe, and to the full extent permitted by law, these goods (hereinafter referred to as the “Egg”) are being provided on an “as is, where is” basis to the exclusion of any other warranty, implied or express, as to satisfactory quality, merchantability or fitness for any particular purpose and the party providing the Egg (hereinafter referred to as the”Bunny”) hereby disclaims, rejects, jumps away from and excludes any liability whether based on contract law, torts (including but not limited to negligence or misrepresentation) or any other theory of law or fairy tale or any parental belief or guarantee as to chocolate-related content, or apparent indemnity (hereinafter collectively referred to as the “Marketing Blurb”) against any damage, loss, injury, illness (hereinafter referred to as the “Problems” but not mentioned every again and certainly not in advertsing) caused directly or indirectly by excessive sugar intake and related health problems. Having regard to the extreme length and incomprehensibility of the aforesaid verbosity, the Bunny hereby reserves full and complete title to any and all IP rights in relation to the Egg including but not limited to any rights based on copyright, layright, and the rights to reproduce, collect, nest or otherwise create, manufacture or produce eggs of a simliar design, structure, form or colour (hereinafter referred to as “Cuckoo Eggs”)  whether such be made of plastic, melted-down and recycled chocolate-like substances (hereinafter referred to as “Brown Stuff”) or alike. Subject to the aforesaid, the Bunny hereby grants a revocable, indefinite, worldwide right to use, hide or otherwise conceal, make yokes about, use as a potential bribe, break, deconstruct, melt-down, adapt, force feed or otherwise consume or otherwise dispose of or exploit the Egg in a fried, boiled or poached form and even sunny-side up.  THE BUNNY GIVES NO WARRANTY OR REPRESENTATION, IMPLIED OR EXPRESS THAT THE EGG  IS NEW OR UNUSED AND EXPRESSLY WARNS THAT IT MAY BE A RE-FORMED, MELTED-DOWN AND RECONSTITUTED FIGURE OR FORM (hereinafter “Santa Claus”) from previous deployment (hereinafter referred to as the “Christmas”).

DATA PROTECTION: Any person consuming the Egg (hereinafter refered to as the “Eggee”) hereby expressly consents under the Federal Data Protection Act (new version) to a record being made (hereinafter referred to as the “Contact Data”) of the respective teeth or other relevant body parts at the time of the initial biting into, sucking or insertion into a mouth or other orifice (hereinafter not to be referred to). As evidence of such consent the Eggee shall subsequently tick a box somewhere on facebook and read several pages of small print.